After six years of asserting that both surveillance cameras malfunctioned during Jeffrey Epstein’s death, the FBI has suddenly announced the discovery of video footage that purportedly confirms that Epstein died by suicide.
How convenient.
According to former Secret Service agent and now FBI Deputy Director Dan Bongino, the newly unearthed footage shows Epstein “clearly alone” in his cell before his death.
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While the exact moment of suicide is reportedly not visible, Bongino claims the video proves no one entered or exited the cell during the time in question.
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Let’s recap. The cameras were off. Then they were malfunctioning. Then the footage was lost.
Now? It’s suddenly been “found,” and it just happens to support the official narrative that nobody with power, influence, or blackmail connections had anything to do with it.
Absolutely nothing to see here.
Never mind the broken bones in Epstein’s neck that were “more consistent with homicide,” according to the forensic pathologist hired by his own brother. Or the fact that two guards fell asleep at the same time. Or the cellmate who was quietly removed. Or the medical protocol violations. Or the strange absence of any photos of the alleged suicide scene. Or the prison reportedly being pumped with sleeping gas, according to whistleblower Patrick Byrne.
No, forget all that. Trust the tape. The FBI’s got it now.
And let’s not forget why Epstein mattered. He wasn’t just a lone predator. He was an intelligence asset—reportedly working with both Mossad and U.S. agencies—running a decades-long blackmail ring on politicians, scientists, CEOs, and celebrities. That’s why he got sweetheart deals. That’s why he avoided justice for so long. That’s why so many people wanted him silenced.
But now, with this freshly “discovered” video, the system would like to close the book.
Nice and tidy.
Just like 9/11. Just like the Vegas shooting. Just like everything else they can’t—or won’t—explain.
The footage will be released soon, we’re told. Both original and “enhanced” versions. Because nothing says “authentic” like government-issued, digitally edited video of a high-profile death years after the fact.
And we’re all just supposed to nod and say, “Ah yes. Finally, the truth.”
Sure.
If you believe this tape solves anything, we’ve got a private island to sell you.